She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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