no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
