Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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