You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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