No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
