dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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