When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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