I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
