i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
