Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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