i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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