I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
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She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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