is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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