he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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