i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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