Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I love you. Go after that dick
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
