I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Operation Purity has been aborted
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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