So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
