GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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