it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.