I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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