listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.