yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.