I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?