cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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