i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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