drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
