lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
