So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
