He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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