But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
