I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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