i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....