I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B