what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
