3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize