This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
