my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
