The maid of honor just puked.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
