too bad you live with your parents still
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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