I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
