i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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