The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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