i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize