We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
