still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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