So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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