wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize