Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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