Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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