I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
