There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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