Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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