best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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