last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
