we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
