New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
