I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
