Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
