You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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