Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
