I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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