I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
