i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
