yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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