is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
