Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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