Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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