I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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