A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Terrible idea I love it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
